


The Adventures of Ben Solo and Rey From Nowhere

by name_and_numbers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is Understanding Gentle and TALL, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Introspection, Jedi Rey, Kissing, Poe overreacts, Porg adoption, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey and Ben are Grey Jedi, Rose is Bens first friend, So I guess that kinda makes this a, Some retcon involved, Sparring, Taking care of injuries, Yes you read that right, but what else is new, but you'll be warned when that happens, one shots, potential smut, some violence, the Falcon breaks down a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/name_and_numbers/pseuds/name_and_numbers
Summary: A series of one shots following Ben and Rey after the events of The Rise of Skywalker. (But there's some retconning, 'cause not everything in that movie needs to happen.)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 88





	1. Uncle

**Author's Note:**

> I am but a humble baby Reylo trying to save what I love. These are going to stay one-shots for now, but if anything has a "sequel," I'll make note of it here. Please enjoy! :)

Rey was irritated.

It had nothing to do with Ben’s weight against her side as she helped him shuffle into the base on their return from Exegol. How tired she was - how tired they  _ both _ were - probably played into it. Her worry following Ben back in a TIE fighter with what was probably a broken leg, if not a dislocation of some kind, had only evolved as she realized the reaction this was going to get from the others.

She was irritated because she was right.

“Rey! Rey,  _ get back _ !”

She heard Finn first, parting the crowd they’d hoped to sneak into, holding a blaster aimed at Ben. Poe wasn’t too far behind, and when he saw them both, he immediately followed suit. “Rey? What’re you doing?!”

She sighed, grunting under her breath.  _ You were right. Sneaking in was too much to ask. _

_ I’d hoped we’d at least get a nap in first. _

_ We’ll make it a negotiation tactic, if we have to.  _ Straightening, Rey briefly held up her hand. “Put those down. He’s hurt.”

“Are you listening to yourself?” Finn took another step forward, never taking his eyes off Ben. “You brought Kylo Ren into a Resistance base!”

“Kylo Ren is dead,” she said through gritted teeth, trying to hold his weight and stand her ground at the same time. “This is Ben Solo.” She looked imploringly at Poe. “This is Leia’s son.”

“Rey…” Poe looked back and forth from Rey to Ben for a moment, finally setting his jaw and squaring his shoulders. “The only way he’s allowed here is if he’s offering his unconditional surrender.”

“You have it then.”

A hush fell onto the group, radiating out until the last of the Resistance fighters were looking on curiously. With a grimace, Ben stood as tall as he was able, looking Poe straight in the eye. “Kylo Ren  _ is _ dead,” he said loudly, “But if surrender is what you want in exchange for help, you have it.”

“The First Order is over. Your high command is done. You have nothing to offer us.”

“You wouldn’t like to know where every First Order outpost is in the galaxy?”

Poe froze.

“What about resources? Loyalists? Profiteering? If you think your battle is over because you won the day, you’re not thinking about those who work in the shadows. I can help you.”

“Ben…”

“You aren’t fooling me.” Poe took a step closer, a hard haunted look in his eyes. “I know what you can do. I’ve experienced it first hand. What’s to say you aren’t a loyalist yourself? What in this for you?”

Ben, having already stared death in the face once, didn’t back down. “Rey’s trust isn’t enough for you?”

“Me? I barely know her. You, on the other hand, I’m uncomfortably familiar with.”

It was Rey’s turn to bristle, looking at Finn. “You know I wouldn’t have brought him here if I thought it would put us in danger.”

Finn’s facade cracked ever so slightly. “Rey… you can’t just bring the Supreme Leader of the First Order here.”

“We’ve  _ told _ you…”

“And  _ I’ve _ told you,” Poe interjected, raising his voice. “I know what he can do. Whaddya think he’s gonna do the moment he steps into this base after surrendering?”

_ Get medical attention, hopefully. _ If Rey wasn’t so upset, she would have smirked. “Finn,” she said instead, reaching out to steady Ben when he slightly wobbled. “I’m telling you to trust me--”

A roar, loud and enraged, broke from the back of the crowd. Everyone recoiled and took a step back from the source.

Everyone but Ben. His face paled, and a tremendous sadness rushed from the bond. Moving towards them quickly, unarmed but imposing all the same, Chewbacca stomped his way from the back of the hanger to the middle of the circle that had formed around Ben, effectively blocking him from potential blaster fire. It was the first time Rey could recall hearing him breathe as heavily as he was. A growl rumbled from his throat, teeth bared.

For a moment, Ben’s head dropped in shame. Then he swallowed and met the Wookie’s eyes for the first time in years. “Hi, Uncle Chewie.”  
Guilt crept into Rey’s stomach, never having put it together that Ben would have grown up with Chewbacca, and probably saw him as the only family he had left. There was another growl, quiet and rumbling. Rey couldn’t catch what Chewie was saying, but Ben nodded slowly. “Yeah, I do. I…” He choked, chin wobbling. “I’m so sorry.”

It might as well have been a whisper. Chewie narrowed his eyes, giving Ben a long, intense stare. Suddenly, it vanished. The tension eased from Chewie’s shoulders, and he gave a tired, quiet grunt before reaching out and wrapping Ben in his fur. The relief was palpable, an experience so overwhelming that Ben buried his face in the Wookie’s fur, shoulders trembling, holding him in a white knuckled grip. The message was clear: the last Solo was home.

Eventually, Poe took a step beside Chewie, as meek and hesitant as he’d been filled with bravado before. “Look Chewie, um… I’ve gotta take him in.”

Chewie growled loud enough to startle Poe, never removing his arms from Ben. The pilot raised his arms. “Okay, okay… you  take him in. I’m sure you’re… more than capable.”

* * *

There was a lot to catch up on.

Rey had given them privacy, standing alone as Chewie guided Ben into the hanger and towards a med bay, both of them speaking quietly to each other. It was Rose who came to her first, asking if she was okay, first of all, but then what had happened on the surface of Exegol. Rey had smiled, relieved, and simply asked if they could discuss it after some much needed rest.

Though she hadn’t known Rose very long, Rey could appreciate the intuition she seemed to have, especially when it came to toning down Finn and distracting Poe. The two still weren’t thrilled with the idea that Kylo Ren was just  _ there _ at the base - not that she could blame them, without context - and she was far too frazzled to answer all of their questions with the patience it required. She needed time for herself, too; both she and Ben needed their own respective time, so she bathed, ate, and changed, knowing Chewie -  _ Uncle Chewie,  _ she thought affectionately - would take care of everything else. She had no intent to intrude on their time together, so she put a light shield over their bond, knowing Ben would understand.

It was the same understanding that gently nudged her seemingly hours later, a tender affection mixed with something she couldn’t quite place.  _ Where are you? _

_ In the room I used.  _ She stood up, slipping her legs over the edge of her bed.  _ I wanted to give you time together. _

_ Thank you _ . He was quiet for a moment.  _ Will you come see me? _

_ What room? Med bay, right?  _ She was already out the door.

_ Yeah. You’ll know it when you see it. Uncle Chewie’s outside. _

Chewbacca wasn’t exactly trying to hide. He had a ferocious scowl on his face for anyone who passed him by, but softened when Rey came into his field of vision. He made a quiet noise in acknowledgement, stepping away from the door. “ _ He’s waiting for you inside. _ ” 

He was guarding the door. Rey gave him a brief nod, realizing Chewie was probably the best - and arguably only - option to do such a task. He had his fair share of experience with compulsive people, and was grateful that if anyone were to get to Ben, they’d have to go through Chewie (and herself) first.

When she stepped inside, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to see, but she hadn’t expected to see Ben sitting in a chair. He had a bandage near his eye, a cleaned cut on his lip, but what was most jarring was the contraption - a brace? - on his knee. She stared at it, eventually pointing. “Is that--”

“Only for a bit.” Calm gently washed over her. “Just something to stabilize while it heals.”

She frowned, but ultimately decided that if he wasn’t worried about it, she wasn’t going to, either. “How are you feeling, otherwise?”

He smiled tenderly. “I’m fine, Rey.” He beckoned her over with a wave of his hand. She went to him, realizing that she’d been missing him while he was away, and wondered idly if this was how it was going to be from now on. She made to sit on the bed, but he tugged her closer to himself. She barely had a moment to stop from falling into his lap, starting to quietly protest.

“Please,” he whispered, his gaze ernest. He blushed slightly, but never broke her gaze. “I need you right now.”

It was difficult to maneuver into his lap, but they somehow made it happen. The brace dug into her thigh, but she ignored it the moment he had his arms around her, breathing in deeply. She did the same, calming herself, trying to provide as much comfort she and their bond would allow. The silence was prolonged. Reassuring.

“I asked him why he didn’t kill me.”

She closed her eyes, burying her nose in his hair. “He wouldn’t.”

“He’d have reason to.” He sighed, holding her tighter. “He said… when he and Mom would have time together, she always said she wanted me back. She still loved me as her son, no matter what I’d done.” He stared hard at the bed, eyes watering. “She saved me… and because she isn’t… he wanted to honor her memory by doing what she said she would.”

Rey lowered her cheek to the top of his head, holding him a little tighter. A swell of envy was hard to fight back. Though there weren’t moments where Leia could voice it aloud, she still spoke of her son - and her family - with the kind of love Rey herself wasn’t familiar with. It would have been difficult for a General of the Resistance to fight for him, would he have surrendered voluntarily, but Rey had little doubt she not only would have stood her ground, but she would have reached him successfully. 

She knew they’d felt Leia’s death at the same time. Maybe, in the end, she did reach him after all.

A glint on the faded sheet caught her eye. A medal was sitting within Ben’s reach. She didn’t want to break the moment, feeling like he needed some more time, but her curiosity must have been plain on her face. He leaned back to look at her, then looked at the medal. “Uncle Chewie gave that to me before he walked out. It belonged to my Dad.”

Han had a medal for something? She gently caressed his cheek, saying nothing.

“It’s…” He kissed the palm of her hand, then rubbed his cheek against her shoulder. “It’s linked to how they met. I’ll tell you another time.”

They fell into a comfortable silence. It struck Rey, in that moment, just how tired she still was, even after rest and a meal. She could only imagine how Ben felt, but there was nothing that she could sense that indicated his discomfort. He was tired, yes, but there was something else, too; resolve, maybe. There was a lot for him to process in such a short amount of time. There was a lot they needed to do, both political and practical, but no urgency to get any of it done.

This is what they needed, she realized. Not as individuals, but as a Dyad, and all that came with it. Security. Assurance. Equals.

“What’re we going to do, Ben?” She spoke more emotionally than she meant to. 

He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin at her collarbone. “We rest. Then we worry about everything else later.”

“The others won’t want to wait.”

She could feel his smile against her skin, and when he turned to show it to her, she felt it in her heart. “The others,” he said conspiratorially, “will have to get through Uncle Chewie first.” 


	2. Spar

It was the smell of the helmet that first struck her, like an old strip of cloth she’d forgotten to clean the sweat out of back on Jakku. Her face pinched in disgust. “I’ve used something like this before,” she said, poking inside the padding, convinced there was mold or other unpleasantries hidden within. “But I don’t understand how this is going to help me use a new weapon.”

“There’s more to sparring that just getting used to your weapon, sweetheart.” With a smirk, Ben stepped in front of her, the practice saber held loosely in his grip. “There’s the connection to the Force, too. If we land on a hostile planet, do you really think you’d be able to use that effectively?”

Rey looked at the lightsaber -  _ her _ lightsaber - newly modified to activate on both ends. It had been a suggestion of Bens, wondering why she weighed herself down with extra gear when she could just as easily combine her primary weapons. It had taken careful tinkering on her part, but she couldn’t deny the surge of pride she felt to see the bright yellow emerge from both ends. “I’ve handled a staff for longer than I have a lightsaber.”

Ben grinned gently. “Exactly. You know how to handle a blunt ended object. With this,” he gently tapped the saber hitched to her side. “There’s a bit more involved. You’ve doubled your offense and defense at the expense of space. You’ll have to keep your hands closer and be more aware of your surroundings. It wouldn’t do either of us any good if you accidentally got yourself in the leg while we’re running off.”

She scowled playfully at him, her admittance that he had a point. She’d considered that briefly in the afterglow of her upgrade, but hadn’t thought of practical application yet. “So I’ll need to keep it away from me moreso than usual.”

Ben nodded. “If the situation calls for it.” He set the practice saber on the ground, then pointed to his head. “Zone one,” spread his hands from his ribs to his waist, “Zone two,” then settled them on his thighs. “Zone three. In defense, sometimes you have to consider the quickest way to immobilize your enemy without killing them. That’s the legs. I can take a non-fatal hit to the torso, but not to the head. Make sense?”

She nodded, smirking. “I feel like I inherently knew some of that already.”

Ben held up a finger. “Here’s the thing.” He went and stood behind her, reaching around her body to take her lightsaber and hold it before them. When she took it, he covered her hands with his. “You can make an attack,” he angled their wrists. “Or defend.” He angled again, then paused. “But where is your blade in relation to your body?”

Though the warmth and press of his body was distracting, Rey glanced to her side, understanding dawning. “I’ve hit my own arm.”

“Or taken it out entirely,” he whispered against her ear. She smirked at him over her shoulder, watching him move out from behind her to collect the discarded practice saber. “You know how to use your staff, and you know how to use your lightsaber. What needs to be applied next is surroundings. Maybe finesse.” He frowned, looking at her feet. “Definitely footwork.”

She tapped the discarded helmet with her foot. “So why the training helmet?”

“Because the Force guides you in battle. And as is the case with any weapon,” He ignited the saber. “You start with baby steps.”

Sighing, reminding herself to clean the helmet later, Rey lifted it and put it back on her head. “Baby steps,” she repeated with a grumble. 

“You asked me to help you with sparring, sweetheart. I gotta start with the basics.”

She nodded, sending understanding through the Bond, knowing that his teaching had nothing to do with him doubting her ability. She worked her fingers on her lightsaber, taking a stance, and lit both ends. 

“Move your left foot in a little bit. Your center of gravity needs to be different now.”

She did as he asked, trying to picture him standing before her, taking a glance at her feet from the gap in the helmet’s visor. “When do we begin?”

She could hear the humor in his voice. “When the Force tells you to.”

Taking a moment, Rey closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She felt the flow of the Force immediately, pulsing from the life around her and before her. She could sense he was there, but she couldn’t exactly place him. Curious, she reached out.

_ No cheating. _

_ I’m not cheating. I can feel you. _

_ You feel the Bond. Feel the Force. _

She frowned, wondering how out of practice she was if she didn’t immediately figure that out on her own.  _ You’ve become one to me, I suppose. _

She felt his flattery, whether he intended to send it or not, but it was immediately cut off.  _ Concentrate, Rey. You know what to do. _

Taking another deep breath, she felt for the intricate threads of the Force, feeling it in the humidity in the air, the sound of bugs in the foliage, the cry of a Porg. It wrapped around her as she called, and finally, she could sense it. Zone three.

She went on the defense, hearing the light crack of her blade against his.

“Good.”

He was close, but not too much. She stayed on the defense, finding the threads of his presence, willing to see it in only ways the Force allowed. Zone two. She turned slightly, feeling his blade slide down hers.

“Good. Remember to keep your arms out.”

She did so, but only a fraction. She could see clearer now, recognizing the pulse from their bodies, realizing his instruction, though true, was vague in order to test her. Zone three again. This time she twisted, shifting her feet, and deflected. Immediately, she set her arms in an attack. He blocked it easily, chuckling.

“You see it now, too.”

She realized she could tell he had his eyes closed. Despite her inexperience, he trusted her completely. They were on even ground, sparring as one, and knowing that he willingly put himself in her position sent a thrill through her.  _ Equals. Always equals. _

_ Always. _

Zone one. Blocked. Feet shifting.

_ How does closing your eyes help with my footwork? _

She heard him chuckle.  _ That’s a different kind of lesson. _

_ After this? _

_ If you want. Now focus. You’ve got an active lightsaber near your body. _

Rey grinned, her trust in him and his instruction unshakable, parrying and striking in easy movements as the day wore down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/numbers_name) and [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/name-and-numbers)


	3. Child

_ Um, just a moment. Child alert. _

Making a face, Rey craned her head and looked out of the  _ Falcon _ ’s viewport. Ben wasn’t too far below, cautiously stepping out of an open hatch, staring wide-eyed at a little girl who was looking back at him. She smirked.  _ Careful, she may smell fear _ .

_ What’s a kid doing here? It’s not safe for her to be this close, right? _

_ She isn’t that close to you. You can’t tell me you didn’t do the same thing when you were her size. _

She could sense his nerves mixing with an acknowledgement of the truth.  _ What’s she even doing here? _

_ Why don’t you ask her? _

_ … should I? _

She frowned. It had been months since he’d been reformed, but the last of the Resistance still had those who refused to see him as Ben Solo. He’d done his best to be as useful as possible - while also staying out of the way. Glancing around, she saw a woman near the door of the hanger watching the girl and Ben, at first making a move to go to them, then stopping, hesitating, clearly fighting some kind of intuition. Her mother.

She gave a nudge of encouragement through the bond.  _ You should. Especially because you’ve been staring silently at her this whole time. _

A wave of anxiety hit her. She smiled gently. It had never occurred to her that Ben probably had little to no interaction with children, though she should have guessed as much.  _ She’s probably just curious, _ she sent gently.  _ Say hi. _

“Hello,” she heard him say. Smile broadening, she stood, watching their interaction with affection blooming within her, stepping out of the cockpit to stand at the bay doors. They couldn’t see her, but the child’s mother could. She still looked nervous, but Rey made a gesture with her hand. It took a moment, but the woman settled, wringing her hands nervously but trusting the Jedi.

“That’s Miss Rey’s ship,” the child said matter-of-factly.

Ben’s shoulders shook gently, no doubt thinking what Han would say about that. “It  _ is _ Miss Rey’s ship. I’m helping her fix it.”

“Do you fix ships?”

“Sometimes. I just happen to know this one really well.”

“Chewie works on this ship, too.”

“You know Uncle Chewie?”

“Yeah!” The girl beamed, clutching a doll to her chest as she giggled. “He likes to pick us up and throw us in the air.”

Ben’s shoulders noticeably eased, his posture softening. “He liked to do that with me, too. I’ve known Uncle Chewie my whole life.” He paused. “Do you like ships?”

“Mmhmm! Daddy said he’s going to show me how to fly his when he comes back!”

“Really? Where is he now?”

The innocent question was met with stunning sobriety. The girl’s head dropped, squeezing the doll tighter. “Mommy says he needed to fly far away into space when everybody else came back.”

Rey gasped, horror dawning on her when she realized the child was talking about the battle over Exegol. She didn’t need the bond to sense the knot Ben undoubtedly had in his stomach, ready to step in and come to his aid when the girl suddenly blurted, “but I like ships, so I wanna surprise him by knowing everything about ships before I see him again!”

Ben had tensed - understandably so - and it took him a moment before he moved, gesturing with his arm to the hatch he’d just come out of. “Do you know what I’m doing here?”

The girl shook her head.

Ben cleared his throat, relief clear in his voice when he realized he had her attention. “I’m helping Miss Rey with some hyperdrive issues. You know what hyperdrive is?”

“It’s when the sky gets stripes and you go really fast!”

Rey covered her mouth to hide her smile. Ben shrugged his shoulders, clearly dismissing whatever thoughts he’d had about explaining advanced hyperspace physics to a child. “Yeah, I guess that’s what it is.”

“Why is it broken?”

“Well, this is an older ship, and sometimes old ships have things that get worn down after they’ve been used for a long time, so you have to fix it more often.”

“Just put a new one in.”

She heard his tone lighten, his posture relaxed again, as he bent down to rest his palms on his knees, looking her in the eye. “Even if we wanted to, that takes a lot of time; far more time than we have. Miss Rey and I have really important things we need to get to, so we can only take so long before we have to leave again.”

The girl pouted, lip sticking out a bit, as she wrapped her head around his words. “More than a day?”

“To replace it?” Ben nodded. “More than that.”

“Two days?” Her voice went up in surprise.

“ _ More. _ ”

“Three days?”

Pausing for just a moment, lengthening the suspense, Ben answered, “It would take more than a week.”

Rey almost burst out laughing when the girl’s jaw dropped. Her eyes were wide as she looked around the  _ Falcon _ ’s exterior. “You’d need Chewie for that!”

Ben Solo, once petrified at the sight of this small child, laughed. “We’d need more than Uncle Chewie for that!”

“I could help someday!” Her enthusiasm was suddenly dampened by sadness. “Mommy hasn’t wanted me to be around ships, though. Not since Daddy left.”

Ben hesitated. “Well… your Mommy misses your Daddy. The last time she saw him, he was in a ship. I can understand that.” He crouched down, looking her in the eye. “But don’t worry. One day, she’ll understand.”

She gave him a toothy smile, two teeth missing squarely in the front. “Then I can help you and Miss Rey?”

He nodded, raising his eyebrows. “Of course! We need all the help we can get!” Ben hesitated once again, taking a brief look over her head at the passing men and women, taking a deep breath before holding out his hand. “What’s your name? I’m Ben.”

She held out a tiny hand to take his, three of his fingers easily dwarfing hers. “Cara. It’s nice to meet you!”

Rey had finally leaned against the frame of the bay doors when the mother finally stepped forward, calling out the child’s name while still several feet away. “Come on! It’s time for your lunch!”

“Bye Ben!” With a wave and a smile, Cara turned and ran as fast as her small legs could carry her, leaping into her mother’s waiting arms, talking excitedly about the man she’d just met. When he stood, Ben met her eyes, carefully keeping his face neutral as he nodded respectfully. There was still a reluctant acceptance, but the woman finally nodded back before turning and stepping away. 

Before Rey could move, Ben had already turned and stepped to the docking bay doors, meeting her eyes for only an instant before moving far enough inside to be out of sight. She found him with a hand in his hair, trembling slightly. “Was that okay?” he asked, gesturing to where he’d just came from.

Sidestepping a spot of orange on the floor, she practically beamed at him. “That was brilliant! Why wouldn’t that be okay?”

He shook his head, deciding not to answer. She pressed gently, curiously on the bond, wondering why he looked concerned. Without a word, Ben closed the space between them and took her into his arms, letting her touch ground him. He sent her glimpses of a childhood spent on this very ship, watching a much younger Han and Chewie making countless repairs, and realized the things he’d said to Cara were almost identical to answers he’d been given by his father. Understanding, she held him tighter, easing his nerves. 

A step was still a step, she’d tell him later, no matter how small it is. She thought of the mother’s quieted fears, and hoped that it wouldn’t be long before the last of the Resistance did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/numbers_name) and [ Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/name-and-numbers)


	4. Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your kind words! I'm happy people enjoy these little snippets. I also wanted to say I lack a beta and this is my first work in Star Wars, so if there's certain terminology or something that I miss, just let me know and I'll tweak some things. :)

Ahch-To, she’d argued, was the best place to hide.

Well, not  _ hide _ so much as to get away from the whispers that followed them everywhere. Ben Solo was still Kylo Ren to too many, even after his efforts to show he wasn’t the same person, and it was a concern of Poe’s that those efforts were in vain so long as he openly walked among the last of the Resistance. Rey didn’t understand it, but then again, she was very aware that her bias was seen as unusual. The Force was in all things, but that didn’t mean the Dark and the Light were known to be amicable, no less romantically involved. Too many were suspicious, so it was better to lay low for a while.

“You can still reach us and tell us anything you need to,” Finn had said, speaking directly to Ben. “But this isn’t like me. You’re not a reformed Stormtrooper. This is going to take time. And evidence.”

_ How much time _ was the question Rey was eager to throw at him, but Ben had stopped her with a hand on her arm, a knowing look in his eye, and a submissive nod to Poe. “Fine,” he’d said, but Rey could feel a rumble of anger at his words. He knew his value, and the threat of his name. Regardless, to have to do more than endure countless bullying was clearly a sore spot.

He didn’t speak about it on their way to the island, but he was projecting so wildly it almost made Rey dizzy. There was some logic to Poe’s concerns - he was second guessed constantly, even when he was proven right - and if they were being honest with each other, getting away was more than just an effort to provide goodwill. They needed it.  _ He _ needed it. Though Ben Solo was always there, he’d lived so long as Kylo Ren that he needed to rediscover who he was.

It was a passing thought through their bond that Rey hadn’t been able to stop pondering. Even now, with the sun setting and a simple meal being cooked over a fire in their shared home, she could sense how he mulled over the thought. The answer was easy enough for her; Ben Solo was the other half of her soul, the man who’d ran into danger with no regard for his own life, because  _ she _ was in trouble. They’d stood side by side, lightsabers drawn, in quiet understanding that they’d never face anything alone again.

_ Most things, perhaps, _ she thought quietly, making sure not to send her thoughts. There were conclusions they would need to come to on their own. Whether or not they would share them was something only time would tell.

Ben had stepped outside to look around their current shelter, taking in details he’d once not been able to. Though she sensed his presence, he was nowhere near her. Covering their food, she stepped to the window to see if she could spot him. His large frame was perched on a rock near the shore, facing the expanse of ocean surrounding them. He seemed… at ease, completely lost in his surroundings. Tenderly, not wanting to disturb him, she pressed against his mind. He didn’t answer back with a thought, only a feeling: relief.

A gust of wind blew through his hair and stung her eyes. Grabbing a blanket they’d pulled from the crew’s quarters on the  _ Falcon _ , she stepped outside and slowly made her way down the stone path. Clumps of moss were slick with fresh rain that had fallen earlier. Porgs cried out in the distance. She pulled her own robe tighter around herself and momentarily basked in the setting sun. She’d been so eager for answers the last time she was here, she didn’t really take in all the island had to offer. She would correct that this time, and hopefully Ben would be eager to join her.

He sat with an arm propped on one knee, the other leg stretched before him. The position caused the shirt he was wearing to ride up his back slightly, and Rey couldn’t help the appreciative glance at the skin it exposed. It was covered in goosebumps, but he didn’t shiver. His eyes were closed, breathing deep and even, hair wildly moving one way to the other with the wind. If he noticed her approach, he gave no indication. 

As she came to his side, she took in the surroundings once again; the wind and waves, the sharp smell of the sea, the chittering of Porgs, and the vibrant presence of the Force in everything. Looking down at him, she couldn’t help an amused smile. He was still wearing his pants and boots from his old uniform, but he’d left his sweater in their hut. The shirt they’d found in the  _ Falcon _ was maybe a size too small for him, and it never showed more than it did now, stretched to a near breaking point on his frame. It was so tight she could make out the curve and flow of his musculature, nipples peaked from the cold, and revealed a small trail of hair leading to his trousers. She blinked, fighting back a pang she didn’t want to identify.

“There’s no way you’re warm in that,” she said, opening the blanket and draping it around his shoulders. His eyes stayed closed, but there was the barest hint of a smile on his lips. 

“It’s not bothering me.” He barely inclined his head towards her. “It’s not bothering you, either.”

She noticed the flush on his cheeks, but whether it was from the cold or something she’d accidentally amplified, she wasn’t sure. Regardless, she sat next to him and wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. “It’s bothering me. I’ve learned to make due.”

Eyes still closed, Ben took the edge of the blanket she’d given him and opened his arm to her, pulling him closer. The man was like the sun himself, constantly radiating warmth, and she couldn’t stop the pleasant shiver that went through her. She rested her head on his shoulder. “You’ve been out here a while,” she whispered, not wanting to break the moment.

“I like it out here. It’s peaceful.”

There was contentment in his voice like she’d never heard before. She smiled gently, feeling his honesty and taking pleasure in it. The sun continued to set on the horizon, bathing them in red. It was nice to not be surrounded by the sounds of machinery, of scrambling people and an enemy always one step behind them. Peaceful was the right word. It was the first time in a very long time she could remember watching the sunset filled with a sense of peace. 

He sighed so deeply her head moved with the rise of his shoulders. When she looked up at him, his eyelids were gently quivering. “Ben…?”

He opened them and looked at her. They were brimmed with tears, and she could tell immediately it had nothing to do with the cold. “Do you hear that?” he whispered, so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.

She searched his eyes, waiting for an answer she knew he’d provide. He wasn’t alarmed, not remotely, and that feeling of  _ relief _ settled into her once again. He opened himself to her fully, and the voices she heard startled her at first, until she realized he was projecting a memory to her.

“ _ I am every voice…” _

_ “... you have ever heard…” _

_ “... inside your head.” _

She didn’t know what she expected next, but it certainly wasn’t his sense of calm and quiet happiness. Instead, she heard nothing else, only their steady breathing, the world around him, and the beating of his heart. His own mind, the very core of his identity was…

…  _ silence. _

For once, in a moment of meditation, the only voice he heard was his. The only voice he allowed was hers. Ben dropped his forehead, nuzzling her nose tenderly. In this silence, he could find the answers he was looking for. He could find the Ben Solo he was so desperate to know and understand.

And, in this silence, he could seek her strength if needed. But for now, Rey knew this was the best answer he could have asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/numbers_name) and [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/name-and-numbers)


	5. Rose

There were moments where Rey couldn’t be more thankful for the friendship of Rose Tico.

She knew she liked her the moment Finn introduced them after she woke from her recovery on Crait. There was a touch of jealousy, and a bit of panic at losing something again (even if she hadn’t known Finn long enough to consider him a friend, he was still the most familiar person she knew besides Ben himself) but Rose was proactive in making sure Rey was involved in just about everything they did together. She wasn’t sure if it was because they were close in age, female, or both, but there was an easiness to Rose Tico that was easy to admire, and sassy aggressiveness that made Rey like her instantly. 

Rey would never forget the look on Rose’s face the first time she saw the  _ Millenium Falcon _ , with its hissing compartments, rusted parts, and very, very far off from its finer days. “ _ That’s _ your ship?”

“What? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s got some rough edges, but that’s a part of her personality.”

Chewie was standing within earshot. When Rose glanced at him, he shook his furry head, then went back to the  _ Falcon _ ’s interior. “Right,” she’d said in disbelief, then with a more chipper tone, “Okay then. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

What possessed her to pull back her sleeves and get to work was beyond Rey, but she couldn’t deny her help was more than needed and appreciated. It was nice to hear Rose’s stories about family, about her sister Paige and how close they were. She hadn’t even prodded when Rey said she’d understood, being satisfied when asked where she came from with a simple answer of “nowhere.”

It was natural, then, that she wouldn’t be satisfied with a simple answer once Ben stepped onto Lothal. She’d been present when Rey had tried to get him to med bay and had seen Poe and Finn’s reactions… and, more importantly, Chewie’s. “Do you want to talk about it?” she’d asked at the time. Rey did, but her desire for rest and food overtook anything else at the moment. “Later then,” Rose had finished, and Rey had nodded knowing she’d reveal everything.

It had ended up being later than they’d both wanted. Rey had spent time with Ben during his recovery, and though there had been victory, there was still plenty of work to be done in the aftermath of the battle of Exegol. Rose had been able to catch wind of the tension surrounding the arrival of Kylo Ren -  _ Ben Solo _ , Rey would emphasize to anyone who needed reminding - and when she got a private moment with Rey, sitting in the common area while Ben changed into a new set of clothes, she felt compelled to relay what she’d heard.

“I’m not saying you made a mistake,” Rose was saying, leaning in close to speak quietly to Rey. “It would be stupid to think you weren’t going to bring him here eventually. But people are  _ nervous _ , Rey.”

“They’ve no reason to be,” Rey muttered, frowning. “They only know he’s Kylo Ren because some people have seen him without the mask, but Rose, the  _ mask _ is Kylo Ren. The man in that room is--”

“Ben Solo, I know. You can tell people that every moment of every day, but they’re still going to believe it’s him until they believe differently.”

“What’re you saying? Do you think we should  _ leave _ ?”

“No, of course not.” Rose leaned back a bit. “Where would you even go?”

“Exactly! If we leave now, it’s ‘Kylo Ren and the last Jedi have fled and disappeared, maybe dead, maybe turned, who knows?’ But if we stay here, we can at least give him a chance to be Ben Solo before he has to be elsewhere.”

“Do  _ you _ think he needs to be elsewhere?”

The frustration on Rey’s face slowly melted to concern. She thought of all the feelings she could sense within the Resistance, the apprehension, anxiety, and nervous tension. It was present every time Ben stepped into a room, along with the muted whispers, “ _ Is that really Kylo Ren _ ?”

“... I don’t know,” she admitted, and saying the words out loud were heartbreaking. “I think he needs to see people who know he’s Ben Solo, but I don’t know how long he’d put up with their anger before he’d fight back.”

“Do you think he’s dangerous?”

A thread of comfort tickled the back of her mind, and she returned it with assurance. “No. Not to any of us. I think all he wants is a chance.”

Ben chose that moment to appear outside of the room adjacent to the common area, pulling a shirt that was noticeably a size too small over his torso. “I think this was my Dad’s,” he said absently, tugging it in different areas as if it would magically grow bigger on his frame. “I may need a jacket or something. This isn’t very practical… oh.”

He finally looked up and noticed they weren’t alone. Rey had stood when he came into the room, but Rose was still rooted in her seat, staring at Ben with wide eyes. 

“That’s all you could find?” Rey asked, stepping in front of him to look at the shirt. It was clearly old, and smelled like it hadn’t been touched in years. She couldn’t deny the appeal of seeing him in something so tight, but it was clear he wasn’t totally comfortable.

“None of the pants fit me. This was it.”

“Well, then I suppose getting you new clothes is another errand to run.”

He scoffed quietly. “I’m not exactly familiar with all the places to get clothes in the galaxy.”

Behind them, Rose quietly cleared her voice. They both looked at her and could immediately sense hesitation, but she hid it the best she could with a gentle smile. “There’s a spot here in the base, actually. Sometimes when we get supplies they include some clothes for people who need them.”

“I don’t need to take clothes from other people. I just…” Ben trailed off, not totally sure how to proceed. “... need one or two things.”

“Well, then we can find you one or two things. Then, when you get your own things, you can put them back.” Rose’s smile grew, and she finally stood and strode confidently over to Ben. “That’s what we do here, after all - we help each other.” She held out a hand. “I’m Rose Tico.”

Rey didn’t need the bond or the Force to tell Ben was stunned. His jaw dropped slightly, taking a moment to look at Rose, before his lips relaxed into a small smile. He reached out and shook her hand. “Ben Solo.”

“So I’ve heard. General Organa’s son, right?”

His expression melted ever so slightly. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Rose nodded. “Well, I have no doubt she’d be happy you’re here. C’mon. We can either get you a few new clothes first or some food. You hungry?”

He blinked at Rose for a moment, then glanced at Rey. “We were planning on eating here…”

“Oh, I see. I don’t blame you. Sit tight, then! I’ll bring enough for all of us.”

The confused look on his face was worth it. As promised, Rose had returned with enough food to settle around, and treated Ben as though he’d been there for months instead of hours. Rey was delighted with how he visibly relaxed after a while, even going so far as to ask her history working with machinery, and listening with genuine interest. It was impossible not to think about how long it had been since he’d last had a conversation like this, where the only risks were how long Rose could stay until she had to return.

It wasn’t limited to their introduction, either. Rose went out of her way, more than once, to greet Ben before she did Rey when she saw them together. She’d save them a chair so they’d have someone to sit next to, and gave anyone who questioned her a glare and quick piece of her mind. While it didn’t ease the tensions from everyone on base, it was a crucial first step whether Rose was aware of it or not.

It was even bigger than Rey herself realized. Several days later, after witnessing plenty of outstanding lashings from Rose, Ben broke a comfortable silence as they both walked to the  _ Falcon _ for some time alone. “I like her.”

“Rose?”

“Hmm.”

Squeezing his arm, Rey smiled and settled her head on his shoulder. She truly had a lot to be thankful for when it came to Rose Tico. “I do, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/numbers_name) and [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/name-and-numbers)

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Twitter and Tumblr!


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